


5 Times Zuko’s Scar Held Him Back And 1 Time It Didn’t

by HonkBeep



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Partially Blind Zuko (Avatar), Past Child Abuse, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), dadkoda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27289756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonkBeep/pseuds/HonkBeep
Summary: “ Zuko had just gotten his bandages off a few days ago. He was not happy. He avoided mirrors and glass, the sight of his own reflection disgusted him. Fire haunted his mind at all hours, wake or sleep.”Basically what the title says. Im a slut for Zuko and Zuko’s scar fics so I hope you enjoy
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 391





	1. Fire

**Author's Note:**

> as always i shat this out in my notes app and i only wrote this for fun so if its fun to write hopefully it will be fun to read that being said i dont accept criticism so i hope you enjoy 
> 
> tw: there is a very very VERY light rape reference in chapter one like so insignificant and irrelevant but if thats triggering for you this is your warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter takes place pre cannon during the time where Zuko is newly banished and he just got his bandages off and he’s re-learning how to firebend (he can barely bend after the agni kai because ✨trauma✨) and he’s frustrated and angsty and traumatized as hell and ends up hurting himself (not on purpose)

Zuko had just gotten his bandages off a few days ago. He was not happy. He avoided mirrors and glass, the sight of his own reflection disgusted him. Fire haunted his mind at all hours, wake or sleep. At least now he was able to bend a little bit. His uncle was a kind and patient teacher, but Zuko knew he secretly held contempt for him and his pathetic weakness. Everyone did. Even himself. 

He was a firebender who was afraid of fire. Who wouldn’t laugh? His ship’s entire crew already hated him. There was a problem in the engine room the other day and Zuko had gotten overwhelmed by the sight of the furnaces when he went to investigate. They thought he was pathetic and they were right. 

It had been weeks since the Agni Kai and Zuko could barely summon a flame. He wasn’t scared. He was brave and he wasn’t scared, he didn’t have flashbacks, he didn’t have nightmares, the sight of fire didn’t make him want to throw up and he certainly wasn’t afraid of his father now more than ever. Yet he could hardly bend at all. 

Uncle kept telling him that he needed to allow himself to feel fear. He said Zuko had been through a traumatic event and that it was normal to be afraid of the thing that had hurt him. That was another thing — Uncle kept throwing around the word “trauma” like it was something that happened to Zuko. No. Trauma was what happened when soldiers didn’t come back right and women who had been taken advantage of couldn’t sleep at night. Zuko didn’t have trauma! He was a prince, and princes didn’t have trauma. 

That didn’t stop Uncle though. He said it was okay to feel fear and that it wasn’t weak to feel it. But he was wrong. Zuko was weak! He couldn’t firebend because he was weak. Azula would be able to firebend. His frustration grew as his bending abilities remained stagnant. 

Zuko couldn’t see out of his left eye anymore. It was hard to live on a ship without any depth perception, and it was hard to be (not)  afraid  of fire when one side was completely vulnerable. He couldn’t sense fire unless it was very close and he couldn’t tell where the fire was if he could hear it at all. He certainly couldn’t smell or taste it. How was he to know if (not)  dangerous fire got  too close to his face again? 

He would have to train his senses. In his quarters at night he started summoning what little flame he could and holding it at varying lengths from his face, focusing on how it sounded and how its heat felt when it was up close and far away. 

How close was too close? He needed to know. He held his flames as close as he felt comfortable doing. No burning. He brought them slightly closer, squinting his already slitted eye in ~~fear~~ anticipation . No burning. Taking a deep breath, he dared to bring it closer. He felt its heat, but it wasn’t unbearably hot. Not crossing the threshold into burning. So he brought it closer. He screamed. 

Flames engulfed him. He reached for his face to try to pry the burning hand away, but all he did was scorch his own fingers and palms. He reared back from his position on his hands and knees until he fell backwards, clutching his burning face, screaming in front of everyone. The last thing he saw from his one good eye was his father standing over him, looking down with contempt. 

Iroh bustled into the room, alerted by his nephew’s screaming. Zuko was on his bed, clutching his face, writhing and crying out. He must be having an intense flashback. Iroh rushed to his side and tried to gently remove Zuko’s hands from his face, but this only triggered a more intense reaction.  _“Father, no!”_ Zuko cried, and Iroh regretted putting hands so close to the burn _._ _“Please! I’m sorry!”_ And Iroh gently rubbed Zuko’s shoulders and spoke quietly to him. Zuko was crying, sobbing in agony. 

He cried for his father again, and Iroh soothed him. “Shh, Zuko, it is me, Iroh. You are safe here, you are safe. I am not going to hurt you.” After a few choked breaths, Zuko looked up and seemed to come back to reality at least a little bit. “Uncle,” he hiccuped, and buried his face into Iroh’s strong arms, his body wracking with sobs as he cried out muffled words.  “It burned... It hurt so bad, Uncle.” More sobs.  “Please... please don’t ever hurt me. It hurt... it burned so bad...”  It was almost too much for Iroh to bear. “I will never hurt you, Zuko. I will protect you, I will make sure nobody ever hurts you like that again.” He soothed, but Zuko pulled back, trying and failing to look angry with his face still wet from tears. 

“I don’t need any protection! I just need to figure out how close fire can get to my blind side before it burns me! I can protect myself if I can just do that.” He half yelled, half whimpered. The frustration was evident in his voice. “It is okay to be vulnerable, Zuko,” Iroh started, but Zuko’s anger flared. “I am not vulnerable!” He yelled, tears drying. Iroh knew he was only going to get angrier, and tried not to exacerbate it. “I did not mean to insinuate that you were. You are strong and brave. But I can sense you are upset right now. Would you prefer to be left alone?” 

“What makes you think I need you, old man?!” 

Iroh stood up and gave his nephew a small bow before shutting the door behind him, sliding down against the wall, burying his head in his knees, and allowing himself to cry. 


	2. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter takes place right after the crossroads of destiny during that scene where theyre on the airship going home and mai talks to him but make it angsty

Mai watched Zuko stand at the railing of the airship. He looked deep in thought and his raven hair swirled around his face in the wind, shrouding his brooding eyes.He was so different from the last time she’d seen him. He was bigger, taller, stronger, now a young man as opposed to the boy he was when he’d left. He was lean and muscular, slightly skinny, and his hair was different than the phoenix tail he had worn last time he was in the Fire Nation. He would barely be able to pull it back into a tuft with how short it was now. But it didn’t look bad on him when it was down. 

She had always had a crush on him, and had even taken up her trademark knife throwing after seeing him training with swords. She remembered Ty Lee and Azula giving her grief about it when they were kids, especially Azula. She was mean to her brother, but Mai suspected part of her loved him, even in a possessive way, because she had gone out of her way to mess with them. She still remembered how it felt when 10 year old Zuko plowed into her out of protectiveness and they both fell in the fountain. 

Things had never gone past hand holding between them before Zuko was banished, but Mai still liked him and intended to pick up with him where she left off. But first, she let herself stand away from him in the shadows beyond his notice and examine his scar. 

She had thought about it a lot since he’d been gone. She was there on the day of the Agni Kai, and she’d been really excited. Not only was it a big deal for Zuko, but Mai got to watch him fight and firebend like a badass while he didn’t have a shirt on. The thought had made her blush. But then of course, all those terrible things had happened. He didn’t get to fight and firebend like a badass, he was beaten, abused, and his beautiful, bright eyed face was disfigured for life. Mai had cried for days after. The Agni Kai was the last time she’d ever seen him until now. 

In the heat of the moment, she hadn’t had time to focus on the scar, just that it was big and noticeable. But now that things had calmed down, she had the opportunity to examine the injury for the first time since she’d lost him. It really was big. Slightly shaped like a handprint. Ozai must have large hands. But Zuko had been smaller when it happened, too. She wondered if it reached his ear, but his dark hair was covering it. His eye was slitted, it didn’t look like it could open all the way anymore. She felt bold. 

“Aren’t you cold?” She asked, approaching him. She was on his unscarred side. Zuko shook his head. “No,” he said. His voice had changed, too, since he’d been gone. Now it was lower, more throaty and raspy. Was it softer? Mai didn’t know. “I’m nervous. I’ve been away from home for three years! I wonder what’s changed. I wonder how I’ve changed...” Mai rolled her eyes, his flair for the dramatic was certainly still there. “Jeez,” she said. “I just asked if you were cold, I didn’t ask for your life story.” He ducked his head slightly, looking away, those inky locks covering his eyes one again. “Sorrry,” he rasped. 

“Hey,” Mai said softly, grabbing his chin and turning his head to face hers. “You’ll be fine.” She didn’t notice how he tensed at her touch. 

Wanting to remind him of their relationship, she snaked one hand behind his back and let the other slither up to cradle the other half of his face, intending to pull him into a kiss. She didn’t get to. As soon as her fingertips graced the edge of his scar, his eyes bulged and he jerked back violently, escaping her grasp and taking a few steps backwards. “No! Don’t! Please!” He exclaimed, now screwing his eyes shut and shying away. Mai stood frozen, her hand hovering in its position. 

Slowly, he settled and looked back at her, eyes shining with emotion. Mostly fear. “S-Sorry,” He stuttered out, and returned to the spot where he’d been standing, hanging his head in shame. “Sorry, I - I’m not used to people touching me like that. I won’t do it again. Are you okay?” Mai was at a loss for words. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. She felt unbelievably sad, but nodded nonetheless. 


	3. Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one takes place after the western air temple but before the southern raiders also holy shit zuko really goes off hard on katara at the end of this one and i never wrote them having any closure but these are supposed to be canon compliant so pretend they got closure and then they did the southern raiders episode and became friends yay

Zuko sat awake listening to his teammates sleep. They had fled the Western Air Temple after Azula but her attack had given them all a scare, so they decided to appoint a guard to watch over at night. The benders had coordinated their training schedules with Aang, who was excused from guard duties on account of being the Avatar. Since Zuko was on watch tonight, Aang would work on waterbending in the morning and earthbending in the afternoon, giving Zuko a chance to catch up on his sleep.

Even though teamwork was something relatively new to Zuko, he was trying really hard to be a team player, especially with Katara still refusing to trust him, so he took his guard duty without complaint, even though he didn’t find it completely fair. 

Nights were hard for firebenders and Zuko harbored a little bit of resentment for Katara, who was the mastermind behind the “staying up all night” idea. For Toph and Sokka it was pretty neutral, but Zuko couldn’t help but feel like Katara got off easier than him when it came to guard duty. 

She was a waterbender, when she was on guard duty she was at her strongest, fueled by the moon, and when it was her turn to catch up on her sleep during the day, it was no problem for her. She was used to sleeping with the lights on; the South Pole was known as the land of the midnight sun. 

But for Zuko, it was harder. He drew his power from the sun. How was he expected to fight at full capacity in the middle of the night? And when he did get to go to bed after a long night of guarding, the sun was out, it’s energy buzzing through his veins and making sleep impossible no matter how tired he was. 

He didn’t like it, but his diplomatic mind was well aware that he was in no position to complain, so he kept his mouth shut, even as sleep was threatening to take him in the middle of his shift. 

Normally on guard duty, he would swivel his head slightly to compensate for his vulnerable blind side, but he was just too tired. He couldn’t help it that his body stilled and his head drooped. He made sure to keep his eyes open, but that didn’t do anything for 50% of his sight. The bandits noticed this. 

They had been staking out the camp since the sun had gone down, and had been watching Zuko from their hiding place as long as he had been out there. They had been sizing him up. They would have to gag him first, before he got a chance to yell a warning to the others. Seeing the swords on his back told them that his hands would be next, and his feet would be last. He was a scrawny kid and they feared a strike from his sword far more than a kick. 

They also noticed his scar, and how he had looked around like he couldn’t see out of his left eye. They saw how he stopped looking around as he got tired, and took their shot. 

The one who was designated to restrain Zuko crept up silently on his blind side. She stood behind him, gag at the ready, and looped it across Zuko’s face before he could register what was happening. Zuko jerked awake and tried to yell, reaching for his swords, but his hands were already bound behind his back and his shoelaces were being tied together. He grunted and struggled, but the surly bandit stunned him by clocking him a good one across the head with a club and then ran off to loot the camp with her companions. 

Zuko didn’t know how long he laid there, head pounding, ears ringing, vision swimming, but it couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes. When he finally came back to himself, he burned through his wrist restraints and undid his gag and bootlaces. He wasted no time getting to his feet and rushing into the fray. 

He must not have been out that long, because the gAang was just starting to fight back when he joined. The trio of bandits was no match for the group, and the addition of the team firebender pushed the scales even further in their favor. Team Avatar was quickly able to drive off the bandits with only minor injuries (including burned rings around Zuko’s wrist where he’d escaped his bondage) and no major losses. 

The group grumbled and asked questions and recovered from battle for a few moments before Katara turned to Zuko. “How could you let them attack us like that?! You were on guard, you should’ve stopped them!” She scolded. Zuko was taken aback. “You’re mad at me?! They snuck up on me, they gagged me, they took advantage of me, they tied me up! I had to burn myself just to get out of their ropes!” He showed Katara his seared wrists. “Not to mention that butch lady knocked me across the head with a club! I did damn well enough!” He yelled. Normally he would never stand up to Katara like this, but he was emboldened by the adrenaline from battle and the indignation of being blamed for it. 

He knew not to fight with Katara, because she never backed down, but the words were already out of his mouth and now he had to deal with the consequences. “If you did enough, they never would’ve attacked us in the first place!” She snapped. 

“I did all I could!” Zuko retorted. 

“Clearly not! Why didn’t you see them sneak up on you? Were you sleeping on the job? This is exactly what I’m talking about when I say I don’t trust you!” 

_That_ was the wrong thing to say to Zuko. He almost never let his scar, his trauma, or his blindness be a factor for him or anyone around him, but the blatant disrespect Katara was showing him when he was trying so hard to earn her trust made the angry flame inside him burn brighter than it had since Ba Sing Se. 

“You really wanna know, Katara?! The reason I didn’t see them is because I can’t see  _anything_ out of this eye! Even if I really want to! Even if I really try! My eye just doesn’t work! But you’re right. Being blind in one eye absolutely proves my disloyalty! I’m not being sarcastic, either. This scar represents disrespect and disloyalty;  _to the Fire Nation!_ You make a lot of assumptions for someone who knows absolutely  _nothing_ about what’s happened to me, you know that?! You don’t know how I got this scar, you don’t know why I was banished, and you don’t get to decide who I am without knowing those things! I get it, I’ve done a lot of bad things to you, you’re allowed to hate me, and you’re allowed to be mad that we were attacked, but you are not allowed to blame me for the attack just because you hate me! I fought just as hard as you to drive them away and how dare you question my loyalty because of my disability!” 

He was steaming by the end of his monologue and the rest of the group stared at him in shocked silence. Eventually, Katara tried to speak. “Zuko, I-“ 

“Keep it to yourself!” He snapped, and he marched off, his anger burning a hole in his heart. 


	4. Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one takes place at the western air temple post boiling rock. zuko has daddy issues but not in that type of way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one kind of sucks im not super proud of it but i had a hard time with this one. I had more developed concepts for the other ones but the only note i left myself for this one was “dadkoda” and thats not really a plot but whatever i did my best

The night after he and Sokka had gotten back from the Boiling Rock, Zuko hoped Katara would hate him at least a little bit less. He had helped rescue her dad and all. She hadn’t been mean to him at dinner, mostly because she was talking to her dad, but it was a start? So he was naturally disappointed when he offered to help her with the dishes, like he had every meal since he’d joined them, and was rudely denied, like he had been every meal since he’d joined them. That was like, half the reason he’d gone in the first place! But he was a prince, and he took defeat with grace, so he resigned and listened as Sokka chatted with his dad about swords and boats and Water Tribe things. 

Zuko had been too engrossed in the heat of the moment to take much notice of Hakoda during their escape, but now that things had calmed down, he had a chance to observe the man. He seemed nice enough, Sokka and Katara clearly loved and trusted him, but Zuko could definitely see how he was a fierce warrior and iron-fisted chief in addition to a loving father. Zuko felt small next to him. 

Zuko knew he had problems with male authority figures. He knew it was on account of his dad. He knew not all dads were like that, but Hakoda’s long dark hair, his beard, his deep, thundering voice, they made Zuko uneasy and his heart rate jump. He was glad Toph didn’t say anything about it. 

During the ride home from the prison on Azula’s airship, Hakoda had been kind and gracious to both Zuko and Sokka, but he definitely favored his son over the prince of the nation that had taken him captive. Zuko couldn’t hardly blame him, but something about standing there piloting the airship by himself while Sokka got to spend quality time with his dad in the background made Zuko’s heart hurt. He knew he would never get that feeling. 

Hakoda had made sure, however, to show Zuko his appreciation. Zuko still remembered how it felt when Hakoda gave him a manly slap on the back that nearly knocked him over and said, “You sure were brave back there, Zuko. I owe you my life, all of our lives. Thank you for helping Sokka. He may never admit it to you, but he couldn’t have done it on his own.” Zuko had blushed and said something awkward. 

Looking at him now, Zuko tried to reconcile that image of the appreciative father telling him he was valued with the fear in his heart that he could not control. He couldn’t do it. Maybe he should sleep on it, he thought, so he went to bed and fell asleep quickly with the exhaustion of the day. 

His dreams were full of nightmares. Mostly about Mai. The image of her, crouched down, throwing stars in hand, defending HIM, it filled him with feelings. He was gracious and surprised and joyful and scared but the emotions that permeated his dreams tonight were fear and dread. 

He knew Azula would retaliate against her for choosing him over her, and his stomach churned at the thoughts of what kind of punishment she might receive. Blue fire, lightning, imprisonment, solitary confinement? He dreamed Mai was standing on that platform and Azula was full of fire, ready to burn her. Suddenly, Azula morphed into Ozai, and it was no longer Mai on that platform, it was him! He struggled, he tried to get away but it was like his limbs were stuck in place. “No!” He yelled to his father. “I won’t fight you!” 

“Rise and fight, Prince...”

“—Zuko!” 

And all of the sudden that face was right above him, staring into his eyes. That dark hair, that beard, that deep, thundering voice... Panic struck through him and before he realized what his body was doing he sent a fist of flame out in retaliation, eyes wide. 

He heard a man yell who was not his father and he jerked up. Next to him, sitting on the ground clutching his shoulder, was Hakoda. He was burned. 

“Dad, are you okay?!” Cried Katara and she ran to her father’s aid. Zuko felt like a stone had just dropped in his stomach as he realized what had just happened; what he had just done. 

“I’m fine, really, I’m fine, I’m not hurt, it’s just a little-“ 

“You’re burned!” Katara exclaimed. She summoned healing water to her hands and immediately got to work on him. She glared at Zuko. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” She demanded. Zuko pulled back. 

“I’m sorry! He scared me! I didn’t mean to-“ 

“Oh what, so it’s his fault now?! How dare you possibly-“ 

“Katara!” Hakoda boomed, and Zuko remembered why he was scared of him. “Leave Zuko alone, it wasn’t his fault. I should’ve had one of you kids wake him up, someone he knew better. I’m sorry I startled you, Zuko, I shouldn’t have woken you up like that.” 

“I’m sorry too, I ... I shouldn’t have burned you. I should have been able to control myself better.” Zuko hung his head. 

“Welcome to the ‘burned by Zuko in his sleep’ club, pal.” Congratulated Toph, punching Hakoda in his unharmed shoulder. 

Hakoda chuckled. “So he’s gotten you, too?” 

“Yeah, he burned me feet! I was like, blind blind, but now I make him give me piggy back rides everywhere and so its okay.” Toph giggled, trying to lighten the mood, and stood behind Zuko, shaking his shoulders slightly. Hakoda chuckled again, and it seemed that all was forgiven, but the guilt still ate away at Zuko’s insides long into the night...


	5. Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one takes place on ember island and zuko is afraid to go out in the fire nation because of his scar and he doesnt want to be recognized so he stays behind at the house while everyone else goes shopping and then gets angsty. 
> 
> also i know he burns a bunch of stuff at his house during the beach episode but pretend he didnt k thanks ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one ended up a little differently than I wanted it to but I still like it. I had fun coming up with fake book titles in this one :)

“Okay!” Announced Katara once the group had gathered in their courtyard on Ember Island. “We’ve been camping for a long time, but now we have an actual house with actual rooms and a REAL kitchen which means no more campfire food! We are not going hunting, we are not eating random nuts and berries, we are going to the market to buy some actual meals!” 

Zuko had been smart enough to bring a generous amount of Fire Nation money with him when he joined Team Avatar, and it was the first time in a while that anyone in the group (except Zuko) had had some disposable income. Zuko had told them about Ember Island’s vast street markets and shopping district, so everyone was excited to go waste some money and buy themselves something nice. 

Sokka was especially excited about the prospect of going shopping. Now that they were no longer in the Earth Kingdom, his matching belt and bag would clash with the red of the Fire Nation, so he needed to find some new accessories. He had also been thinking about some fancy weapon accessories he had seen at Master Piandao’s and decided now was the perfect time to get some. 

“Hey, sword buddy!” Sokka greeted Zuko, throwing a hand over his shoulder and pulling him close in a casual greeting that made Zuko cringe. “Don’t call me that.” Zuko admonished, wriggling out of Sokka’s grasp. “Ok Flameo Hotman,” another cringe. “Wanna show me where the best places are to get some fancy sword stuff?” 

Katara butted in. “Don’t go crazy, Sokka. I’m not letting you waste all our money, you know.” 

“It’s not wasting money! Zuko got this from the palace, right? Who pays for the Fire Lord’s fancy shoes — the taxpayers! It’s not wasting money, it’s redistributing public funds and reinvesting back in the economy to serve the hard working people of the Fire Nation!” 

Katara made an exasperated noise. “Just give the money to Zuko!” She plopped the pouch of coins in his hand and looked at him. “Don’t overspend, and don’t let Sokka pressure you into overspending, you hear me?” 

“Uh,” Zuko pushed the money back towards her awkwardly. “I don’t think I’m gonna go. People in the Fire Nation kind of ... recognize me....” He looked away, his raven hair shrouding his eyes. 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Katara realized uncomfortably. “Here, Suki, you take it and keep him in line.” She gave the money to the Kiyoshi Warrior. 

Toph noticed the awkwardness and approached. “What’s the problem? Sparky’s not coming? Why not?” 

Zuko shifted even more uncomfortably. “I don’t want to get recognized. People kind of... know my face.” 

Toph, being as stubborn as the rocks she bent, tugged on his arm. “Come on, _I_ don’t even know your face, and we’re besties!” 

Zuko dug his heels in. “You’re blind! Look, I’m just not going, okay?” 

Toph huffed. “Fine,” she complained. “Bye, Zuko, have fun being bored and alone.” 

“Bye.” Said Zuko, and Team Avatar sans Zuko walked off to the market, leaving the firebender by himself. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Toph was right about him being bored. He practiced a couple firebending and swordbending poses (god damnit Sokka was rubbing off on him) but he had just changed into fresh clothes and he didn’t want to get himself too sweaty, so he stopped and went back into the house. 

Time had certainly not been kind to the old place, but it had only stood empty for six years or so. It wasn’t in terrible condition. He decided to occupy himself by straightening up as best he could, he felt like doing something nice for his friends. 

He opened the shutters and let some light stream in, but immediately regretted it when it illuminated just how much dust was in the air. He pulled off the sheets that covered the furniture, which caused even more dust to fly and he started coughing. Opening the windows wasn’t doing it for him so he decided to gather firewood outside while the old house aired out. 

When he came back inside with an arm full of firewood, the dust had settled and he could resume straightening up. He decided his first order of business was to remove all the Fire Nation propaganda that decorated the home. There was quite a bit of it — it was his father’s house, but there were also some pieces of Fire Nation culture that he would be proud to show his friends. After all, his mother had lived there too. 

He removed portraits of generals and commanders, flags and tapestries bearing the symbol of the flame, and other bits of Fire Nation nationalism that might rub his friends the wrong way. He tossed books upon books onto the burn pile. _Military Victories Under Sozin_ — burn. _Fire: The Superior Element_ — burn. _The End of The Air Nomads_ — burn. There were a few titles that he kept, most of which were plays belonging to his mother. He remembered falling asleep to her gentle voice as she read _Love Amongst The Dragons_ to him and Azula. He’d had some happy times here. 

He came across a portrait of his family hanging on the wall and paused, trying to decide what to do with it. He studied it, remembering his mother’s face. His own face.... 

He had been so bright eyed. He was actually smiling. Had he really been that happy? Azula wasn’t smiling. He turned to a mirror that hung nearby. He gazed at that bright eyed, smiling little boy, and then up at his reflection. He tightened his lips. 

He had never been a particularly vain prince, but getting a scar over half your face would damage anyone’s confidence. He looked back at the portrait. People used to tell him that he had his mother’s eyes. Now when people saw his face, all they would think of was his father. Anger flashed through him. He tossed the portrait on the burn pile. 

He was still gathering burn materials out in the courtyard a few hours later when his friends came back, laden with shopping bags and goods. 

“We’re back!” Announced Aang cheerfully as he plopped his stuff down. “What’s all this, Zuko?” 

“A bunch of propaganda.” Zuko answered. “I’m burning it.” 

Sokka’s eyes went wide at the sight of so much information right in front of him and he dropped his shopping bags and raced over to it. “What?! Zuko, no! The first rule of war is to know thy enemy, this is a gold mine of knowledge! How can you burn it?!” 

Zuko looked unamused. Sokka grabbed one of the scrolls and kept talking. “I mean look at this! Imagine how much we can learn from  _‘The Destruction of the Southern Air Temple: A Complete Military History_ _’._ ” His eyes went wide as he realized what he was reading and he slammed it shut as fast as he could. He gave a sheepish look to Aang, who looked horrified. “Okay, maybe we should burn this stuff.” He said, and Zuko gave him a look that said “I told you so.” 

On the other side of the pile, Katara picked something up. “Zuko, how can you burn this? This is a portrait of your family.” She asked. Zuko’s stomach flipped. He should’ve burned that separately, now his friends were going to be all over it. 

“Aww, you look so cute and happy!” Crooned Suki, smiling at the picture. Toph snorted. “Zuko used to be cute and happy? Jeez, Sparky, what happened?” She laughed at her own joke, but Zuko’s face hardened. His eyes were dark with bitter memories. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He said coldly. 

“Oh? Uh, sorry.” Toph said, but Zuko didn’t care to hear her. He was too busy dealing with the wave of bitter anger washing over him as he was reminded of his loss. People used to look at his face and see his mother’s eyes, now all they saw was his father’s scar. 

“It’s fine.” Zuko bit out and snatched the paper out of Katara’s hands. He crumpled it up into his palm and burned it, the flame reflecting in his angry eyes. With short, clipped movements, he ignited the pile of materials with a tongue of flame, turned on his heel and marched back to the house bitterly, leaving his friends standing in shocked silence around the now burning fire. 


	6. One Time it Didn’t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one takes place post canon. fire lord zuko confronts the Final Boss (tm) and he doesn’t let his daddy issues hold him back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know in the show it has ozai living in the same prison that iroh was in when he was in the fire nation but i decided to spice it up and put him at the boiling rock for some extra funsies 
> 
> also friendly reminder that fuck the comics ❤️

Zuko scoffed at the irony as he stepped off the gondola and on to the platform of the Boiling Rock. It hadn’t been more than a couple months since he had infiltrated this prison as an enemy of the Fire Nation. Now he was Fire Lord. He surveyed the guards and The Warden with an authoritative eye, a look he had quickly developed since becoming Fire Lord that proved to be essential in keeping insubordinates in line. 

He had opted not to get rid of The Warden or any of the guards since taking power, despite being held prisoner there himself, because they had just been doing their jobs. Besides, The Warden was Mai’s uncle, and just because he was loyal to the Fire Lord didn’t mean he approved of their relationship, especially after Zuko tarnished his perfect record. 

They made tense eye contact for a moment before The Warden greeted, “Fire Lord Zuko, welcome to the Boiling Rock.” He gave a much too shallow bow to be addressing the Fire Lord but Zuko wasn’t vain like that, so he gave The Warden a nod and said, “Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.” 

“I’m sure Your Highness don’t need too much introduction to our prison, so if you’ll come this way, my guards and I will escort you to your father’s cell.” 

The Warden was obviously trying to be underhanded with that remark, but Zuko didn’t give him a reaction and followed him through the doors and into the prison. 

For once, he was grateful for his scar. It was hard for the burned half of his face to show expression, so it helped him mask how uneasy he felt. It also came in handy when he needed to look scary, but he didn’t want to use intimidation to keep his people in line. Besides, he didn’t need to look scary now, he needed to look poised. 

He was ready to face his father. He hadn’t spoken to him since the eclipse, but now that he was Fire Lord, he had to say something to the man. He had been afraid at first — he still was afraid, but now he felt ready. Azula’s lightning wound had healed, he had officially ended the war on paper, and he was coming to terms with the ways he had been manipulated by his family. 

He was sill nervous though, Ozai was a master manipulator (Azula had learned from the best) and would take advantage of any weakness Zuko showed. Zuko refused to give that man any sort of emotional reactions, no matter how inflammatory his remarks were. He would remain poised and collected and in charge, the perfect image of a Fire Lord fit to rule. He took a deep breath. 

“I should consider myself lucky that the new Fire Lord has finally decided to grace me with his presence.” Ozai spat when Zuko stood before his cell. 

“You should consider yourself lucky the Avatar decided to spare your life.” Zuko said. 

This made Ozai angry and he gave Zuko a hateful glare. “You should consider yourself lucky he took away my firebending so I can’t burn off the other half of your ugly face!” 

Ozai must have had a hard time adjusting to prison life. Zuko had been expecting low blows but calling him ugly right out of the gate was a little pathetic even for him. “I have been told that I have my father’s eyes.” Zuko responded coolly. Ozai snarled. Zuko hadn’t expected him to be so offended by what was basically, “I know you are but what am I?” and his confidence grew a little bit.  _Return to sender_ _,_ he thought smugly. 

“You may be Fire Lord, but you will always be a coward, and everyone who ever sees your face will be reminded that their Fire Lord is a coward!” 

Zuko had expected his father to go after his scar and had come prepared for it. Some of his worry eased. “No, not everyone. You and your loyalists think this scar marks me as a coward, but the rest of the world knows it represents bravery and strength. I was the only one brave enough to stand up to a tyrant, and I didn’t let my burn stop me from unseating you and ending your pointless war.” 

Ozai growled. He didn’t seem to have a response to that. He changed the subject. “Why have you come here, Zuko?” 

“To see how you’re doing. I haven’t spoken to you since before the end of the war. Are they treating you alright?” Zuko made sure to keep his tone conversational. 

“What do you care?” Ozai muttered bitterly. 

“You’re my father. And you’re powerless. You can’t bend, you’ve been overthrown, you’re weak and pathetic in every way.” Zuko lit a flame in his palm and made it dance around him tantalizingly. He gave his father a hard look. “It would be so easy to make you pay for everything you’ve done to me, to the world, right here, right now.” 

Ozai reacted to those words like a cornered dog might react to a kick in the gut. “Then why don’t you go ahead and do it?!” He lashed out. 

Zuko clenched his fist, extinguishing the flame. This was the speech he’d been preparing for. This was what he was finally ready to say; his thesis. 

“Because I’m not like you. You don’t care about the weak, you want to take advantage of them. That’s why you burned me. I was weak and vulnerable, I was literally on my knees, I was completely at your mercy, and you took advantage of me. Well now you’re the vulnerable one. The world hates you, me most of all. And I could do whatever I want to you. I could have you tortured, killed, burn you like you did to me, and nobody would stop me. But I won’t. I’ll visit you, and make sure nobody’s hurting you. I make sure the guards are treating you well. Because  _I am not you_ . I am nothing like you, I never have been and I never will be like you. I will never use my power to hurt the vulnerable, the weak, the pathetic, the powerless, all of the things you are, because despite all you’ve done to me, I will _never_ hurt you.” 

Zuko stood tall and firm over his father as he said that, unwavering and true. Ozai opened his mouth to speak, but Zuko turned away. “We’re through here.” He said curtly and rapped on the metal door. It opened and a guard escorted him out. Ozai saw his son nod respectfully to the lowly guard and caught the beginning of a “thank you” before the door closed heavily and left the former Phoenix King in his own darkness once more. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Standing Guard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28392882) by [HonkBeep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonkBeep/pseuds/HonkBeep)




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